Being rather than always Doing

I always love this segment from Richard Bach’s novel, Illusions – Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

11. The Master answered and said,“Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.

12. “The current of the river swept silently over them all – young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.

13. “Each creature in its own manner clung tighty to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth.

14. “But one creature said at last, ‘I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.’

15. “The other creatures laughed and said, ‘Fool! Let go, and that
current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!’

16. “But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.

17. “Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the
current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.

18. “And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger,
cried, ‘See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies!
See the Messiah, come to save us all!’

19. “And the one carried in the current said, ‘I am no more Messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.’

20. “But they cried the more, ‘Saviour!’ all the while clinging
to the rocks, and when they looked again he was gone, and
they were left alone making legends of a Saviour.”

I cling myself – to outdated ideas of how I am supposed to be behaving, other people’s ideas and sadly, quite often its only my perception of their ideas – and I hear this from others too. We often hear things from parents, teachers and friends during those crucial formative years which live with us for decades, about what is expected of us – “Be Good”; “Eat all the food on your Plate”, “You’ll never be good at xxx so give up” or “You must do YYYY or achieve ZZZ to (pick one- ) fit in, be successful, make money, be happy or 100 other “measures of success”.

So I carry all these ridiculous concepts around in my subconscious, making me vaguely aware of discomfort when I act out of synchronicity with them, when I chose actions that are more in tune with who I am.

As I do more yoga, perhaps with the meditation or the body awareness that has definately increased, I become aware of these subconscious “pains” or “twinges” in my psychi which manifest as physical.

So here I am thinking of changing my job and I get a pain in my throat – or a chesty cough or any of 100 symptoms, which my digital homeopath friend will analyse for me and explain are “Fear”; “dread”, “anger” etc. – you get the picture.

Slowly it becomes harder to make a mental step just in response to a prompt from all this old rusted thinking that forms a very unstable, ill-designed, and really unwanted framework from which to make choices. I have to look carefully at each choice, even sometimes to the words I am choosing to descibe something or some choice – whether out loud (in which case friends are good – to say “did you hear yourself?!?”) or in my mind.

I want to be the little creature floating on the Crystal Current.

Part of me thinks I have taken that first step — and let go to see where the river will take me. But part of me feels like I am still clinging (perhaps the discomfort I feel is that part of me IS floating off downstream in splendid freedom, and part of me is still painfully attached to old ways of thinking, causing a tremendous tension!!!!!!!!!

Its an ongoing piece of work, and the most useful tool I have found in the process of scraping my old thinking off the rocks of my attachments (I love this metaphor, sorry – :-)) is awareness. As I become more aware of my thought processes, and even the origon of some of my thoughts, so it becomes less possible for stray, useless or negative thoughts to get into my mind, and prevent me from moving into Being.

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